Dr. Stephanie Murphy explains: Why Proof of Love?

Hi! I’m Dr. Stephanie Murphy, and I’ve been talking about relationships on the internet since 2008.


I want to help the listeners of this show get to know me in this post. So I’m going to share with you the answer to the question you’re probably thinking about. Why? What makes me want to talk about relationships on the internet – and what qualifies me to give advice?


Great questions. You should ask that about anyone who puts themselves out there on the internet as an “expert!”


I would say it all started when I began listening to Dan Savage’s podcast, Savage Love, in 2007. Dan had already been doing an advice column for over a decade by that point, and with the rise of podcasting as a media form in the late 2000s, he began doing a show where people could call in with their questions, and he would answer them on the air.


This was not a new concept, but it was new to me. First of all, I was touched by how many different people called in, earnestly asking for advice. And I knew that for everyone out there who took the time to call and leave a question, there were probably hundreds or thousands of others who were wondering about the exact same thing! Or at least, dealing with a situation that was similar enough that the answer to the caller’s question would be helpful for them. And then, I realized, there were many thousands of other folks who were simply listening out of curiosity, but who could then learn something through the process of casually listening.


I was definitely one of those listeners. Through a process of casual listening (OK, not always casual – sometimes the questions were totally relevant to me!) I picked up a lot of useful information. And, not only that, but I started applying what I learned in my own romantic life!

There were many other podcasts that inspired me – especially when I moved away from just listening to podcasts about sex, and started delving deeper into psychology, healing from past traumatic experiences, and personal growth. I started working on discovering my own “issues” and healing from them. It’s still an ongoing process, but through a journey of self-discovery that was sparked by listening to relationship podcasts, I reached a greater level of knowing myself and accepting myself than ever before.


That’s really why I want to talk about relationships on the internet. I think that through relating with other people, we can understand ourselves better. We can learn and grow. We can experience what (I believe) deep down, everyone wants – real connection with other people. Love! Love is definitely an enhancement to the experience of being human.


When Tatiana told me the idea for this show, I was super excited. Not only did it fit in with my “mission” of talking about relationships on the internet, but I was happy that I would be doing it with two other wise people who have something important to say. As we start off 2019, I can’t wait to see what connections we will make and what we will learn through the show this coming year. I know that there is always more to learn. So if you ever catch me acting like I know everything there is to know about relationships, give me a reality check, because I’ll tell you right now that I don’t. I’ll be learning right along with everyone else – and I’m excited about it!


Thanks for reading, and I’ll be talking with you soon…





A bit about me… by Lauren

After a few incredibly challenging years, I am here to give hope that if you stay true to your values, consistently evolve emotionally, trust your intuition and be the very best version of yourself you can be, you WILL come out on top.

Hi, I’m Lauren, a newly engaged Brooklyn transplant in southern California. New York City was my love and my playground for years and as a friendly, outgoing (yet introverted) person who never had trouble finding Mr. Right Now, I had given up on finding Mr. Right. I focused on my writing, my life as a real estate agent, my love of photography, film, and music and became actively involved in the world of crypto.

Romantic relationships never defined me; I was always happy with my own company and developing many of my creative hobbies while spending time with beloved family and friends.  I was in a ten year relationship and when that ended, I had to start from scratch in a new city while most of my friends were settling down, getting married, and having babies. It was tough for me but I never wavered in my happiness for others and building my own joy became my priority.

Many lessons, heartaches and years later, filled with love and respect for myself, I had finally found joy in my own life. As that happened, my person walked right in. It’s cliche but it’s true and I want to help anyone who is having a hard time believing it will happen to them because recognizing the right person and realizing you deserve it is not as easy as many make it sound.

I want to be a sounding board and a voice for those who have been through the ringer and come out standing or are still struggling to sludge through the dating minefield and need some support. My goal is to help and inspire others and discuss the many ways our current social landscape is both a savior and a barrier to love and wellness.

©Jacopo Brogioni


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Why did I start this show in the first place?

2018 and everything leading up to has been intense to say the least.  We live in a world where we are disconnected, even though we are attached to our phones.  They are an extension of us, but they also can put up barriers to those we want to get closest to.


I have been working in technology for years, even when I managed various recording studios in NY.  Those were engineers as well. However, I considered myself separate from their occasional social foibles, as I am quite outgoing and warm.  But when it comes to relationships, I notice we pretty much all fall apart.


How can we build the beautiful world of tomorrow if we cannot manage our day to day interpersonal relationships that inspire the reason to text, call, or email in the first place?  How do we keep love in our hearts during the Tinder Apocalypse?


I had my heart broken this year, but I had also held it out in total vulnerability.  That allowed me to learn more about myself than I had in a really long time, and set me on a personal growth trajectory that continues to motivate my work to this day.  I saw how blind I was to my own walls I put up, even when I try to be truly in the moment and engaged. What a mess it’s been, but it’s also allowed me to see deeper into myself.  


I feel a stronger motivation than ever to connect with my fellow man on a multitude of levels.  I have always seen music as my great connection and contribution. Then I found my voice in activism, public speaking, and politics.  That evolved into action and innovation through Bitcoin, cryptocurrency and blockchain.  


Now, I venture into the vast uncharted waters of love accompanied by 2 of my best friends.  This is going to be a crazy journey, but I am so happy to be joined by not only them, but you, the listener.  I hope this show can be a resource, a friend, and a sexy warm port in the cold storm of relationship life!